NICE PANTIES, GIRLFRIEND.

The great thing about my roommate Mike is when I said, "You look like you're going to blow up school!" this morning on his way out the door, he smiled and laughed and went on his merry way as though I'd told him he looked like a lot of money.

I meant it as a compliment anyway, like "You look like Christian Slater's salary in Heather's! Way to keep your explosives in an agnes b carry-all, man! That's some real passion for fashion!"






















You'd think that "You look like you're going to blow up school!" would be more likely to offend someone than "You look like you teach grade 3!" But you would be wrong. I still can't believe my sister hasn't killed me in my sleep for that one.

Moving on to some tasteful H1N1 jokes??

No but really, in the watch out for germs state of affairs, something moderately amusing has come to my attention.

Apparently when some people do coke, they make a point of not sharing the same end of a rolled up bill. "Ha!" I thought (and said aloud.)

This was met with, "The mucous membrane! Come on!" And then, "Isn't anyone afraid of H1N1?!"

I made some good points. "So when you stick it back in your wallet and take it out again later, I guess you've made a point of marking which end is yours..."

Blank stare.

"Furthermore, MONEY IS THE DIRTIEST THING AROUND! And what, no one else might have thought stuck that up their nose before you got it as change from your 15 pack of Tremblay?!

DOING DRUGS AIN'T REALLY THAT ORIGINAL.

If you really want to keep it clean, you should press your own one-hundred dollar bills to hand out as party favours. Case closed.,

Meanwhile, Eva Mendes' Calvin Klein ads never fail to brighten up my day.

Enjoy...