In 1995, Immature released their third album, We Got It on December 5. The album featured singles "We Got It" (which sampled Chocolate Milk's 1978 soul hit "Girl Callin'"), "Please Don't Go", "Lover's Groove" and "Feel the Funk" (which also appeared on the soundtrack for the film Dangerous Minds).
Furthermore, the group matured towards numerous wise decisions such as changing their name to IMx when their balls dropped, and starring in the fourth and final plea of the HOUSE PARTY series.
That's right ladies and germs, HOUSE PARTY 4: Down to the Last Minute.
The movie never came to a theatre near you, so now you know that anyone who says they came in a theatre near you while taking in HOUSE PARTY 4: Down to the Last Minute is straight up talking shit because no such teen multiplex handjobs were ever given or received.
Taking it back to Immature's third album, the 8th track is lovingly known as "I Can't Stop the Rain".
By lovingly known, I don't mean that you love it or even that I love it.
I simply wish to take it back to grade 8, when I met the first and only die-hard Immature fan I ever met, Judith Marufu.
Girl had BALLS.
Like this one time? She lip-synch serenaded the entire Elmwood auditorium with a supersexy take on Monica's "Angel of Mine" that involved a skintight silver dress made for Vegas.
If you've ever seen Common live and felt a bit squeamish when he does that serenading one lucky female seated starry-eyed at center stage routine, Judith Marufu's show would have made you blush at least 6 times harder.
Judith Marufu. A real character! Girl stormed into grade 8 with more sass than Jane Pratt before her epic teen magazine disintergrated into the too often disappointing Jane magazine.
Jane magazine is a step above O magazine only because its cover often features admittedly cool people like Drew Barrymore and Zooey Deschanel, rather than Jane Pratt herself every single month.
That said, this variance in monthly cover models might have to do with the fact that Jane Pratt has considerably less voluminous hair than Oprah Winfrey.
Let it be known, that I'm really not in the habit of hating on Jane Pratt and my girl Ayan and I are currently working on something we hope will be as cool as Sassy once was.
Although Sassy was no longer before I was even a teen, when I was 10 I got a great stack of teen reading from Joan Ferguson, my neighbour whose daughter had become women in need of less clutter.
By way of reading old Sassy, I caught wind of Digable Planets before my balls dropped and I never heard Digable Planets on KOOL FM 93.9 and that's the truth and for that I am grateful, thanks Joan and Ladybug is the shit and if you don't know, now you know.
Anyway, in the month since I finished school I've had a lot of time to read for pleasure and for that I am grateful, as I am for remembering that I actually really like to read for fun and sort of forgot for a really long time until this year when I turned my brain back on and bugged out!
I recently read an overall great collection of essays from Bitch magazine.
Among the essays, was Pratt-fall: Ten Things to Hate About Jane , by Lisa Jervis and Andi Zeisler, and that's basically the only reason I ventured to semi-poke fun at Jane Pratt today so I guess that the editors of Bitchfest should be pleased because they kind of got me thinking.
You'll now understand that what I'm trying to say is that contrary to Immature, I can stop the rain.
I was biking to the YMCA a couple of days ago in my ski jacket from grade 8 because it was raining. I didn't realize when I left that it was minus 20 because it's May and everything but the time I reached the OTHER side of Saint Laurent I was giving my capri running tights the finger.
In that I recently decided to play it safe and not listen to music while biking because it's actually sort of dangerous, I couldn't just turn on OBLADI OBLADA and forget about how painfully cold my legs were.
Furthermore, I couldn't just start singing OBLADI OBLADA because I don't know all the words.
HowEVER, I do know each and every word to "My Favourite Things" and every other song from The Sound of Music and all the dialogue too, duh.
Considering I was miles away from my steady boy, and thus unable to act of the gazebo first kiss in the rain sixteen going on seventeen sequence, I did the next best thing.
What started as a hum at Milton and St Urbain was full out Aretha by Lola Rosa when I reached climax.
And promptly stopped the rain.
I had a lot of other shit to say about todays's late afternoon thinking session on my favourite bench in Westmount Park but my stomach is furiously eating itself so now it's time to go home and cook up a storm.
In conclusion, if I can stop the rain, then I can do anything. And so can you.
Sincerly,
Nicola Jane Young
P.S. If you believe everything the back of the Mirror tells you, these are the shit.
However, I'm with Maria Von Trapp and at the top of my TO MAKE HAPPEN LIST for sweet summer fashion kits is a darling white dress with a blue satin sash.
But mine will have less prude action at the neck and more blatant cleave and my steady boy won't know what hit him.
3 comments:
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm sasshy
you are one funny bunny.
I can't read the whole thing,
'cause my brain goes into
overdrive, but I get the gist
and it's tickleish.
oh, by the way, on the way, have
your way, no way! Totally.
once i dumped kyle bc he said oprah was stupid. hahah
Post a Comment