Thursday, December 24, 2009

MERRY-AMBER THIESSEN vs. AMY-ANNA JONES

Hi there. Just doing some laundry, you?

What a zoo that will be, yeah, I'm going downtown to the art gallery, it's free from 1 to 4.

No, the Szilasi exhibit is still on actually, that's what I'm going to see.

You can't see this picture really, just click on it.









































Christmas, that's right, that is tomorrow, isn't it...

So here's a funny video of my friend Tasha's mom getting a toaster for Christmas after she apparently went on about how everyone gives and gets toasters so you have to make sure you act surprised if you get one.


Peep Tasha's choons at myspace.com/tcupyo.

And don't forget that to give is better than to receive. Click on it, ugh.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

ZACK DE LA MORRIS TAKES THE CAKE

The funniest shit so far this week is that Rage Against the Machine's "Killing in the Name" made it to #1 on the BBC singles charts, 17 years after it was all the rage. Here's a wee chat with the band from the BBC followed by a live performance!!


The British couple that decided to stick it to the Simon Cowell by way of a facebook revolution, did so unsuccessfully last year, with a campaign to bring Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up" to number one on the charts. That's hilarious!


I would like to take this couple out to lunch. Maybe even invite them over for Christmas dinner... Heck, why not make them the godparents of my firstborn child?! What the hey, they can have my firstborn!

Highly amusing. Way 2 go, you 2!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

J-SHORE LORE

Looking for a wing man to partner up in the club scene (montreal)


Date: 2009-12-14, 2:47PM EST
Reply to: gigs-es3x9-1509886556@craigslist.org





























Im looking for a wing man to partner up in the club scene to meet beautiful ladies
I'm 25 years old and I'll looking to meet women with a friend because its easier

  • Location: montreal
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  • Compensation: no pay

















Thought the J-Shore boys were just asking to be injected into this ridiculous ad.

Am I right, or am I right??

Monday, December 21, 2009

DOWN WITH BRO DOWN, BRO.

This was the funniest shit Hilary and I laughed at yesterday.



That and one line at the end of the too long and not even that funny (unless you're maybe stoned, bro) Pineapple Express...

"I'm like that nerd at the sleepover who fell asleep at 9 o'clock!"

Oh man, that was too funny.

I don't know about you guys, but I'm bro'd out.

This week's Globe & Mail bestsellers list for Humour proves it.

Number 4 is The Bro Code by Barney Stinson...




















And oh shit, I hadn't even noticed that the other "bro-lit" title is by the same guy!

Number 8 is Bro on the Go by, you guessed it, Barney Simpson!













Sounds to me like Barney Simpson is, "like, Sophie Kinsella for dudes, bro!" (And that's a bad thing.)

























Next up, Bro Ties the Knot. Then, Bro and Baby. Then, Bro and Child Support!

Better Barney than that I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell a-hole. (Wait, I think he was in the top 10 for Non-Fiction, actually...)

I don't know about you guys, but hey boys, if you have any (or worse, all) of the three aforementioned titles, do yourself a favour and make sure they're out of sight when you have a new girl over. Or else... You go to the bathroom, I sip my wine (white Fuzion, no doubt...) and make my way over to your bookshelf...

By the time you're Purelling? I'm out.

And no more "that's what she said" ever.









Please and thanks.


Can't wait for 2010 lingo and all the new hot shit!

________ is the new BRO!


______________are the new UNDEAD!

I'm going snowshoeing, seeya!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

SCOTT SPEEDMAN, PREGNANT!

Sup guys, it's almost Christmas, have you heard??





















You know the drill.

S. Claus
North Pole
HOH OHO





















You know who that is, right? Diora Baird, boys and girls. An old favourite. If you haven't had the pleasure of Diora in her birthday suit as your background image on your computer all set for when JP's grandma comes over for brunch, you really haven't lived.

























I never tire of this image, so why should you?

Onward. Enough semi-stiffness for an afternoon, n'est-ce pas?

(Stay tuned for Brooke Shields at her best...)

Last weekend my mom was visiting and on Saturday we went shopping. As always happens to me in department stores, I got tired and afraid and needed a hand to hold.

It was then that I wandered into the home section and found a friendly (but sleepy) owl.
















The truth is though, that I saw this owl in passing and gave him a squeeze, found a comfortable perch in front of a darling Missoni coat that had me so hypnotized, I decided I missed the owl and he should be there with me. (I also thought he would totally match.) So I went back to the home section to get the sleepy owl (about a 5.4 minute walk roundtrip) and then back to the Missoni boutique to straight kick it for 20 minutes while Hilary and my mom looked at party dresses. Needless to say, these inanimate objects got along great.
































It's called an eye, guys. I have an eye...

Watch out Rachel Zoe. There's a new raisin in town.


























Off to the tanning salon, shall we?































By the by, the owl is made by a company called Velvet Moustache that makes a lot of really cute shit.

If you're into being green (it is all the rage...) and don't mind spending 6o bones on a little pillow, this is the place for you.

Cute and fun things to look at anyway, check it out.
http://shop.velvetmoustache.ca/

SEEYA!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

TWITTER PRACTICE

14o characters or less, right? You do the counting because I don't really give a shit.

"Nothing like a jazz-infused Sunday afternoon at home, penning an as of yet untitled print publication you'll love to hate, inspired by the end of the world and the first season of Friends. Pen pals, keep your eyes on your mailboxes."





















M.A.C. "Spice" lipliner was all the rage and so are you.

Let's not talk about the weather, for Michael Snow has a new exhibit at Toronto's Power Plant.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/arts/michael-snow-worth-a-thousand-funny-words/article1397116/

Don't forget to go unlock your bike wherever you left because now is prime time for bike thieves with crazystrong hedgeclippers to come out and play. Run along now, take a break from the hot cocoa or you'll be sorry.

HGZ&KSSZ,

Nicola Jane Young

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

IT'S ABOUT TIME...


















If you only knew how many slime moments I've watched in the past 20 minutes...



I loved that show. I think that Lady Gag-Me's next costume should be "Oh shit! I just got slimed on You Can't Do That On Television!" The blood of Christ is so not a fresh concept...

Yup. The burger incidents were another highlight, for sure.


Next!


Next!


If you noticed our dear old friend Alanis Morrisette back there, that's my hair half the time, yup.