Me and my homegirls even ate a melting wheel of brie with honey and pecans and baguette beforehand!
[Cue The Real World: Cock & Bull theme song; which happens to sound a lot like RuPaul's Supermodel.]
LIANE... ("The girl who likes all the same underground comic books as you do but will never be more than a friend!")
Sama... ("The mysterious American who is having some trouble differentiating between the toonie and the loonie!")
And Ayan... ("The leftover childstar extra from Children of the Corn!")
Oh my god, yikes.
So me and Student Bodies be likethis now and we duet right, right?
We did Sabotage and here be the part that goes "WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!"
Shit yeah! Y'all feel that, right??
WHO'S on the mic, WHO'S on the mic, MIKE??
This is a dreamy Mike Chui looking dreamy with borderline Zac Efron in last month's GQ hair.
He was a pleasant surprise I convinced to tag along when we crossed paths between the Sherbrooke and the Milton gates.
Then we found John on the way to the Plateau at the exact same corner as last week (de la Montagne and de Maisonneuve) and I didn't even have to ask, he was down for the count and turned around pronto.
Ayan blew everyone away and then mentioned that she'd never sang in front of anyone before.
Who knew?!
She also joined my no more smoking campaign.
Good 4 her, primo spokesmodel material.
And good 4 me 2 because I'm still in it to win it and I did Sunday Morning and everyone says I rocked out my best yet.
Last night I had a dream I smashed my bottom teeth on a teacup and I looked in the mirror and they were in the wrong place and it was bloody and it was here we go again. It was just a teacup but it was propelled by a sucker punch and it hurt eventhough it was just a dream.
One of my teeth was knocked out completely and I remember that I asked my mom if she thought the tooth fairy would come, eventhough I was the same age I am in real life.
I was excited when she said she thought she probably would come, especially because I had two teeth to put under my pillow actually.
My real life tooth I have on my kitchen counter here in my apartment was in my mind in the dream! In real life last week I got one of my fucked up front teeth pulled out and I got a titanium implant. I have a lot of metal hiding inside my face. The metal detector jokes were funny until I went to Halifax in February by plane and they didn't even go off. So much for the funny upside of facesmashing...
I have a dreamcatcher, you know. I got it about a month and a half ago because it was pretty and fifty cents at my fave church-run thrift store (also known as "my secret store"), without even thinking about what it was for. And then I realized it fit nicely around my lamp by my bed and I figured it wouldn't harm me and I liked the look of it there so there it was and there it is.
Maybe without it, my face smashing dream would have ended with me bloody-mouthed and worried instead of looking forward to the tooth fairy visiting me.
Have you ever had a dream that all your former lovers lived on the same street? And the tallest one (6'5) had dark blue nailpolish on random fingernails?? Catch that, dreamcatcher.
I also have worry dolls, you know. I got them as a gift last spring. I came across them on a joint quest for Jacob's ladders and I was so delighted to have found this remnant of my childhood for a mere one-hundred cents that someone else cared enough to foot the bill.
They're so small though, you know, so they're pretty good at hiding. I only actually told them what to take care of and what to protect in the first week of March when my mom came over for a sleepover and I was pretty worried and I thought "How great to come across you guys when I'm actually really worried!" I probably hung out with them before bed for four or five consecutive nights but then I think I got a bit fed up with them because I actually got more worried and not less worried. But really, I shouldn't get mad at my worry dolls because they are so small and cute and it's not their fault they aren't superheroes. I still say sup to them from time to time and sometimes even let them sleep under my pillow.
I wonder if some people who worry a lot are afraid to take locker number 666 at the gym. I always feel pretty The Craft-ish when I take it. Like I'm so risqué and all I need is more eyeliner.
I took locker number 666 on Sunday (double whammy!) and then I took an hour and a half power yoga class I'd never done before so yeah, all I needed was more eyeliner.
The best part was when someone started snoring in the relaxation pose. It got louder and louder and I was giggling inside big-time and then it stopped I guess because THEY WOKE THEMSELVES UP WITH A BIG ONE. And then it started again. It was great. It's funny how sometimes it seems like nothing is that fun or funny and then someone farts and you realize lots of things might be fun and funny because that fart sure was.
My favourite yoga class is with Jacky on Tuesday mornings and last week I couldn't go because I had to go to the dentist. But it turns out she wasn't even there because today she told us about how she just got back from a week of tropical sunshine and ocean and that she thought of us last Tuesday at 9 when she did her practice on the beach. She said she would try and give us some of that sunshine and it was pretty good for me because I got a primo spot by the window that allowed me to all but bathe in St. Viateur sunshine. She talked about the rythm of the ocean, and the current and how she realized it was so much bigger than her and instead of trying to fight it, she had to find a way to work with its rythm. And how that happens in life a lot, that things are bigger than you and it's scary and you have to find a way to roll with it rather than try and escape it. And how that relates to yoga practice, where you may be daunted by new positions but find yourself easing into them and finding your own rythm within the pose. C'est la vie, n'est-ce pas? Sounds corny, don't it?? Yoga is so boring, right?? I think it's great.
[This was at work a couple of weeks ago, when Evan and I were bored so he made me armour out of last year's 30th anniversary stickers. Last time I was bored I made Sara take a picture of my left breast on Evan's phone to show to his 16 year old brother I have a crush on because I think he'll turn out good and tall. Did I mention I put hot fudge all over my face first, like a warrior?? Stuff like this can never happen again because now there are cameras watching us. It's so un-fun.]
Anyway, I was quietly jealous that Jacky had a tropical holiday in May because I want one. When I was in a deep downer a few years ago, I went to visit my first friend of life in Barbados for two weeks in May, and my lord what glory it was to have the love of Emma Dickinson surround me at that time. Driving around the scary windy roads that have no rules, we heard Promiscuous Girl for the first time and thought it was such a bad song, we didn't know who it was, we just thought it blew. I remember thinking "It's probably Fergie, ugh." And then in the next few months I maybe thought "Ooh, what a sexy beat."
I'm going on holiday soon though with my family, a sweet little yellow cottage in Les Iles de la Madeleine for a week and a half in June. And then the other Emmalove of my life is coming over from New Zealand and I haven't seen her since the fall of 2006 so I'm pretty excited.
And then what the heck am I going to do with my life?? Where am I going to live in July?? Do I even want to be in Montreal anymore?? Does anybody have a Magic 8 ball?? Anybody?? Anybody??
Oh my god, I just made a cool remix par accident. Southern Girl was playing in one part of my computer and Rahzel was making noises and I was finding On and On done acapella on youtube. But I forgot about the first window. So I was like this is weird but kind of cool. And then I realized two things were playing at once.
Anyway, I love Erykah Badu and yesterday I did this cool thing called BADU BUBBLE BATH. It's not too complicated, it just means you take a bubble bath while listening to Erykah Badu.
Cool thing today is that I'm going to have lunch with my girl Danielle at Chez José and we always have the best time when that happens.
Wow, I'm really out of practice with my MSPaint skills. The into is so meagre you'd think I wasn't really and truly into it.
Also, it's sunny outside and I got me some sassy new sunglasses from Ardène.
If I had batteries for my camera I would take a picture and show you my new sunglasses. They don't really look like Rose McGowan's in the previous picture.
Also, I would have taken a picture of the smiling sunshine the 2nd Cup guy made in the foam of my special latte that isn't on the menu because it's a secret combination and he thought I should try something new.
If you're a girl and you're not a biatch, he will most likely make you a heart in your foam unless of course you say "hold the foam" in which case you're going to have to carry on with your day and probably unknowingly sidestep 3-5 other random acts of kindness, quelle domage.
So it was really fun when Alliy Brown and I went to see Dizzee Rascal four years ago and we were at the front and you could see his song list taped on stage and it was cute and did you know he punched Diplo in the face once?? Some people love him for that but anyway I like this jam. It's really fun to bop around to in your apartment!
What else, what else....oh yeah, at karaoke two weeks ago I provoked a fight between two grown men! I just carried on singing 'Like A Prayer' wondering what the hell was going on but not actually caring that much because I was getting to my fave part.
I'm still in the game and I think next week we'll be down to five contestants. There is only one other girl left. She really likes to sing when I think about you I touch myself oh I dont' want anybody else and it really bothers Danielle and that's funny because Danielle doesn't really get bothered but when this girl sings she does and she wants it to be over fast. Liane, my number one karaoke supporter, well she and I have been observing enough to decide that I touch myself girl possibly likes to have sex on Wednesday nights and more likely than not does it with the guy in the contest who used to be on Students Bodies. I don't need the internet votes this week, I've been doing really except for that one time, but if you're bored you could go to the contest website and guess who I'm talking about.
Cute topsiders, girlfriend! Cool boobs! Your hair is so long! It's crazy! Girlfriend!
This past week I sang 'One Way or Another' for the contest, and Candice and I did 'None of Your Business' and I also did 'Spiderwebs' and it was all just so much fun.
Plus, Liane and I ordered pizza for dinner. Pizza party! It was from DOUBLEPIZZA and it was mediocre at best and it was too uhspensive but we got it delivered so that's what made it a real party. And the delivery guy thought Liane was pretty so that was pretty partyish.
So I guess it was almost 2 weeks ago that this young gun called Toddla T did the Essential Mix and it was really really really fun and on the Radio 1 you can only listen to shows for 7 days...but in the UK you can get all kinds of cool podcasts and stuff! How does the internet work?? How do they know I'm not in the UK?? I thought it was like we were all the same place here on the internet. Guess not. Eneevayz, you can git it on Toddla T's website under MIXES and also peep the Ghettoblaster mix, it's fun fun fun.
HIS RECORD COMES OUT ON MAY 25th. Roots Manuva is on it and I don't know I mean I think it's pretty wild that this guy is my age and came out of the woodwork last year and now he has Roots Manuva on his album. I mean I remember if he was listening to Roots Manuva on his way to math class on the 2nd floor when he was 16 too and maybe he had never thought of being a DJ yet and was really good at calculus... I wonder if he ever got curly fries in the caf... Also, he has a residency at Fabric which is really something, right?? Also, I live in London with my dear old friend Amna in my imagination. Amna can get whatever the shit podcasts she wants from the BBC.
Hmmm...what else....
Oh I know! This song always makes me feel really happy, I walked around to it for probably 2 hours yesterday. ACTUALLY. You know, it's sunny outside and there are puppies everywhere and kids on bikes and blue freezies and your favourite bench in Westmount Park is free and it's just so good.
I think that if you hate this song or if it makes you feel worse than however you felt before you heard it, there is maybe something wrong with you. I mean maybe you wouldn't be good company on a picnic. Or maybe you don't like to dance.
Okay but listen, if you're ever feeling like you'd like to feel better and you have the facilities you should take off your clothes and put on this song and jump up and down. JUMP. UP AND DOWN. You'll start to laugh! You'll start to laugh! Oh yeah, the big part is that you have to look in the mirror because that's what makes it so funny. Okay? Everybody on three, okay??
