I look like a jaundiced baby meth addict with homemade braces.
My bruises on my face/neck are yellowy and I look like a baby because half of my face/mouth is still numb (it might come back...in 3 to 6 months...or a year and a half! HA!) and so when I have chocolate pudding on it, well I might not be aware, okay?? And I look like a meth addict because meth addicts teeth go to shit. And I look like I have home-made braces because I have homemade braces. They made them at the Montreal General, sure, but like a totally make-shift joke and like I could have done it just as pretty myself (if not prettier.)
That last picture brought this to mind immediately.
It's cool how stuff like that happens, right??
All things said and done, I'd like to thank the folks at the Montreal General for being awesome! Seriously though, they were really nice and I think I know some of them well enough now that I could invite them over for American Thanksgiving if they are American and unable to go home for American Thanksgiving.
In other news, the other day when I got back to Montreal from Ottawa, I was feeling dramatic because my steady is going away on tour for a month on Saturday and hadn't asked me on a cool date to do something cool before he goes and it didn't seem like he was going to and I was feeling all "C'mon! Bring the romance! C'mon! Please??"
And then I had to go to the hospital in a taxi because I was going to be late because I spent 3 too many minutes being a drama queen in search of romance...
I'm silly though because my boy sometimes sends me real mail (like...with stamps??) and we live blocks away from one another so he must be moderately sweet and into me, right??
Right. So shalala I'm at the hospital turning on the tears again (it's not an act though, I've just turned into an emotional tornado...) and I convinced the doctor to let me go without the really painful elastics as long as I stuck with liquids until November 19th. Cool? Cool-ish...
Pshaw, get real. I am NOT getting married. I'm getting ready for my guest appearance on the new 90210!
So since I wasn't going on a date with any cool boy after my appointment, I decided to take myself on a hot date myself by myself.
I bought myself a medium ("venti...") caramel frappucino and then I went to the movies and saw Rachel Getting Married and it's fantastic, it really is.
Debra Winger saunters back like it's no big deal and I'll take this as an opportunity to big up my girl Rosanna Arquette and this documentary she made that I liked.
So yeah, I took myself to the movies.
But first, naturally, I went shopping I bought myself some perfume because it's for some reason a cool gift for love or something and I was having a love myself date with myself.
Anyways. I really think that you should only buy someone perfume if you know that they like it and want it. I think it's really kind of mean and weird to tell someone what you think they should smell like. They might not like it. But they'll wear it for you. So as to not hurt your feelings.
My main man has not gotten over how his highschool girlfriend got him cologne that "smelled like dead hair at a barbershop." Which one? Ladies and germs, beWARE...
"Jean-Paul, Le Maaaaale"
I don't know what it smells like but I remember really loving these ads way back when and thinking they were kind of gay and putting them on my wall.
Maybe I would really like the way it smells. Maybe like sex and candy??
Devin thinks my new Betsey Johnson perfume smells like a 45 year-old woman.
I think this ad is the best because Betsey Johnson is like 70 (she's actually 66) and she looks like 19. I think she did it to be fun and funny. Like when she does cartwheels and wears bright wacky shit.
So I guess it's sort of makes mathematical sense that I am 23 and smell 45.
My high school boyfriend wore Old Spice and sometimes Swiss Army and that was nice except that I think of him whenever I smell it and I don't think that I could ever really like it again.
Meanwhile, back in the real world, Devin wears Degree and I think it's just right.
Furthermore, I have rented 2 scary movies. One I've seen that is totally awesome.
And one I haven't seen that looks pretty fun, no?
I'm going to go finish my homeworks and then go on an ice cream mission and make me an excellent milkshake.
By the way, Dairy Queen closed until March like 3 days ago.
Quelle drag...
Happy Halloween!
2 comments:
oh my lord that made me laugh out loud! for so many reasons. like, the date with myself - welc ome to my world. I take myself on a romantic stroll everyday in New York. and once I put on Exlamation! in a jean coutou in Montreal when I was 12, and when I came out, I walked out at the same time as two cougars and my Dad said "those women smell like burnt hair" and then after they were gone he was like "wait..that's you! what's that perfume?" I also have an ex that wore swiss army, (bobby cuff, he was 34 and I was 23. he had a gold tooth and his favorite film was apocalypse now along with a thing for boom boxes, the army and neneh cherry)needless to say no matter how many years later ...
my high school bf wore "tommy." so did every other boy i ever loved up to that point. swiss army smells a lot like that. i feel your pain girl.
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