Sunday, November 15, 2009

YIPPIEKAYAY, MF.

Don't you hate when Soul for Real jams are all "embedding disabled by request" and shit?? UGH. It's always the most has-been peeps that are on Team Lars Ulrich.

This is where I connect you to the Candy Rain video.

It's around this time that you might ask yourself, "WHERE ARE THEY NOW?" and soon find out via wikipedia that...

"On February 25, 2009, group member Brian Dalyrimple was arrested in Charlotte, North Carolina on charges of identity theft. Prior to his arrest, Dalyrimple allegedly took his 10-month-old son from his grandmother's home and fled to a friend's home in Charlotte. Police were given a tip which led to his arrest. Dalyrimple, along with his son's mother, are accused of orchestrating financial thefts from over 200 victims in the Duluth, Georgia area and other jurisdictions."

If you don't know, now you know.

On an even darker note, I saw Antichrist on Friday and haven't slept since.

Seriously?? Well bees and gees, there's been so much talk surrounding it that I was expecting the worst of the worst of the worst, and it wasn't as bad as I expected. My friend Karen though, walked out in revulsion and never came back. When Liane and I later met her with her coat we were informed that we will never get to pick a movie ever again ever.

The preview is not a good primer by any means. It doesn't show the wacky shit, so watch out. If you don't care to see, say, genital mutilation and the battery of helpless animals in the midst of a deep dark forest, then this ain't for you, kid. It's not something I can ruin by explaining because it's not something I can explain. (P.S. If you haven't seen The Sixth Sense, I'm glad to tell you that Bruce Willis is actually a ghost. He's dead but he doesn't know it. Now you know!)



























As I was saying, such is the whateverthefuck of Lars von Trier. I had seen one of this movies before, The Idiots, wherein (if memory serves correctly) a bunch of Danish peeps pretend to be mentally retarded and have lots of sex with eachother and make scenes in public places and are totally totally bonkers. It was sort of okay.















If you want to see Willem Dafoe's manhood in action, this must be the place. I wonder how much you get paid to fuck in an art film. Probably less than the Green Goblin's stunt double's stunt double. If you want to beat up Damien Hirst on a regular basis, you'll probably want to beat up Lars von Trier.

























The funniest part of the movie was when I sneezed and Karen said "gazunteit". It was also a bit funny when I found myself thinking about how the last time I cried real tears from an opening sequence, was the The Lion King on Broadway (but actually in Toronto in the year 2000.) This video is not going to help you understand how incredible the beginning of The Lion King is but here you go.


Antichrist opens with a black and white slow motion shower to bathroom counter sex scene set to a Handel aria, and just as Charlotte Gainsbourg hits a high note, their baby, who we've watched make his way out of his crib and across the room and onto a chair and onto a dresser as they're making their way to climax...he tumbles out the window with his little teddy into a snowy night and it's ABSOLUTELY HEARTWRENCHING. And sorry to say it, it's beautiful. And I love to hate on how a dead shark hanging out in formaldehyde has come to be worth millions as much as the next guy. That said, I think Damien Hirst's unicorn is kind of funny, actually.